Mind-Blowing Lessons From Life Coaches

These days life coaches are becoming more and more popular. We love talking to them so we can pass along ways to make us better, happier humans. So, let's dig in to help motivate us in areas we might need to work on, but do it without all the judgement. In this episode we highlight lessons learned from four coaches we talked to in previous episodes. We’ll get eleven keys to self-care (Kerry Rasenberger), how to break a bad habit by "deconditioning desire" (Leslie Hoerner), overcoming fears – especially public speaking (Grace Brown) and controlling our reactions to negative situations (Sheila Sutherland). Here’s hoping the next few minutes can bring some positive and lasting life changes.

There's a new year around the corner and over the next month or so, we’ll also be looking back at some life-changing wisdom we’ve received from career coaches, health and fitness experts, mental health professionals and those in the faith community. It’s the best way we can think of to help equip you for 2022 whether or not you make new year’s resolutions. We valued this advice and hope you will too.

As for this week’s episode with life coaches, there are so many wonderful lessons we learned from these ladies, but we had to narrow it down. We definitely encourage you to go back and listen to the full episodes when you have time. For now, we packed the highlights into a few minutes for super self-improvement.

Writer Aldous Huxley famously said, “There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” Plus, as we become better versions of ourselves, we become more effective in our relationships, vocations and in helping others. Focusing on self-improvement is far from being selfish, so click play and take a few minutes to focus on yours.

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Sandy Kovach [00:00:01]:

Life coaches have a lot of wisdom on a lot of subjects, and we talked to some great ones here on Imagine Yourself podcast. In this episode, we're gonna feature some of the best lessons we learned from life coaches. I'm Sandy on behalf of Lanee and I. Welcome to Imagine Yourself, where we help you imagine your next chapter Life with grace, gratitude, courage, and faith. And now to our 1st life coach who had some amazing things to say about self care and self love. And she had 11 keys that I think you're gonna love, and you're gonna wanna implement at least 1, if not all of them, in your life. From the episode, great relationships, start with the one you have with yourself. This is life coach Kerry Rasenberger

Kerry Rasenberger [00:00:48]:

The first one is Surround yourself with accepting and loving people. Let go those toxic people. And sometimes toxic people are hard to let go. That's a whole another topic if it's your family, but Surround yourself with people that has the same loving thoughts that you do. Do things that you've been putting off for years. How many times for 5 years, 10 years have you had thoughts thinking, I'd like to do this. You know, maybe it's doing a little small garden in your backyard. Maybe it is reorganizing a room Sandy doing a little office in your room.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:01:21]:

Maybe you want a reading corner, and you put that off for 10 years. Just something little that you do just for yourself. Number 3 is kinda my focus this year. Practice good self Care. That's drinking more water, daily exercising, eating better. I love french fries. I'm trying not to eat them as

Sandy Kovach [00:01:39]:

much. McDonald's?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:01:42]:

Yeah. I try to not. Getting more sleep, that's one thing I've been trying to focus on, and just Time for self reflection. I think we don't do that enough, and it doesn't have to be daily. Maybe you need it 5 minutes in the morning. Maybe you need it once a week, but I think self reflection is a time where you can really get to know yourself better, what's working and what's not. Oh, and number 4, forgive yourself. This is a huge one.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:02:09]:

Sometimes, forgiving others might be easier, and we can live in the past and hold guilt. And my whole thought on this, there's no failure in life if we learn from it and grow from it. Yeah. If you allow yourself to learn and grow, you aren't the person today If you didn't go through that because you grew through it. So just forgive yourself. Let go of the past of things you're holding on to because it really will keep you from moving forward and being happy. Being mindful, positive mindset, this is a great transition. And For me, working on self care, practicing Sandy doing things puts me in a positive mindset where I'm feeling better about myself.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:02:48]:

When you are get yourself to that positive mindset, you know your needs. You know your thoughts. You know your feelings. And understanding that is only gonna allow you to make better decisions in life. We still won't make mistakes. We all do. We're human. But Making better decisions is gonna let us grow and go further.

Lanée Blaise [00:03:07]:

It'll give us a sense of self trust as well.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:03:10]:

Oh, that is great. Yeah. And self Trust and believing in yourself is really good. It's not gonna hold you back from deciding on which direction or which path to take. Yeah. This one was really good. This is my 2021 I focused on. It's doing a lifestyle audit.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:03:27]:

Now when everybody came back home Sandy we're all in the house Sandy life was a little bit different and we couldn't go anywhere, We all got to know each other better. There was a lot of really positive things for me in 2020, but it also really I sat down and kind of did a life audit of what do I wanna do in Like, where do I wanna go? I don't wanna sit around and do nothing. That's just not my personality. I got a lot of energy. I looked at what bad habits I need to break In my procrastinating, I learned a habit that I need to do, like, focusing on you. I even my girlfriends laughed at this, Printed out a big y o u u, put it next in my office, and instead of always getting sucked in, not that it's bad, but sometimes Always getting in and catering and doing things for others. No. I can't because this is what I'm doing.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:04:17]:

I'm focusing on me. So that self audit for 2020 was really important for some positive changes in my life, and it really allowed me to look at what's working, what's not, and go and make changes. Number 7, I've already mentioned this earlier, is accepting your strengths, your weaknesses, and everything in between. Queen, and I am totally fine with my weaknesses. My weaknesses, I'm not the best technology person. So, you know, having a virtual assistant's wonderful because she helps me on certain areas, But there's no reason to be embarrassed with weaknesses. We all have strength and weaknesses.

Sandy Kovach [00:04:51]:

I think that's huge because we get so embarrassed Yeah. About things. And we wanna put it on this front, especially on social media. Hey. I got everything handled. But I think it helps people relate to you better, Whether it's on social media or in real life, here's what I can't do very well. I don't mean to be self deprecating, but to just be out there with your true authentic

Kerry Rasenberger [00:05:12]:

Honest. Yeah. Yeah. Just being honest. Sandy we can't do everything. I mean, when you think about it, holy cow. We would never sleep if we try to do everything and master everything. So I think knowing your strengths and becoming better in your strengths is, it's golden.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:05:26]:

Yeah. I agree. And number 8 from a lot of my studies in this is something that's always been very important to me. Focusing on gratitude, I don't think we do that to the fullest. And what I do with clients sometimes is I ask them to come up with a list of 25 things they're grateful for, and they have gratitude, And their faces go drop, like, and it's amazing. We live in such a world of abundance. We have so much That taking people back to the thoughts of, I am grateful I can walk. I am grateful I can see the beauty of nature.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:06:02]:

I am grateful I have a house over my head. I have food on my table. I have 2 beautiful kids. I'm not saying they don't give me a hard time sometimes, but when you really simplify it, there's so much more we should be full in life. You could probably come up to a list of 50 things easily if you go back to thinking kinda childlike. Oh, I have a new toy. Well, I got a new car. I have my own car.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:06:24]:

When you start having more gratitude, you bring it to life, and you're more grateful for the people around you, and it's contagious. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:06:31]:

It can also help counterbalance what we just talked about as far as when we are honest with ourselves about our weaknesses. We can be honest with ourselves about the things that we're grateful for because I really feel like we might have learned that after 2020 Because we started to realize we can't take certain things for granted. We can't take light for granted. And like you said, friendships and relationships, Health and even our ability to have access to doctors and health care and things like that. I have a friend named Alicia who is just wonderful, And she reminds me all the time. She has so many things going on in her life Sandy not all of them are going well. And some of those things do have to do with health, But she's always thinking about the things that she's grateful for. That's that part you said about being around people who Bring that self love and that positivity and that gratitude.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:25]:

It is contagious.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:27]:

Yeah. You can always find things that are going wrong, but you Always find things that are going right too. It's where your focus is. Right?

Kerry Rasenberger [00:07:33]:

Yeah. And if you wake up in the morning and you're on the wrong side of the bed, at the end of the day, Find look back and find something that was good because not every bad day is a full bad day. There's always gonna be something good in there. I Because there's always gonna be a bad day once in a while. That's just human nature.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:59]:

Yes.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:07:59]:

Okay. And number 9, be proud of yourself. I think that's a hard thing for people sometimes. But at the end of the week, look back at the week, and what's something that you felt that you did a good job in? It can be as simple as I found a new recipe, and it was killer. I loved it on-site. Or I finished a project, and it went great. I connected or I have a new sales lead, whatever it is. Maybe each week, look at one thing that you can be Proud of yourself doing, and that is gonna take you to a positive mindset.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:08:33]:

Sandy the positive mindset, it's like a snowball effect. It's gonna take you where you can treat people better and be better. Next one, 10, I think is could be a whole topic itself, because it's something that took me a long time in life. You know? I'm in my mid fifties now. It took me some Long time in life to learn. Not as much in business setting boundaries, but more in my personal life setting boundaries. Because I think in your personal life, it's more emotional. In business, it's functional.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:08:57]:

You keep a lot of the notions out to go forward, but setting boundaries is so important. Learning to stand up for yourself, Learning to let people know they crossed the line, and that wasn't okay. Setting boundaries, I think, is something that you grow a lot from when you do it. Because when I first started setting boundaries more, I felt guilty. You know? I don't know if you all felt guilty doing that.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:19]:

It's a learned art. You're right. That is something that we might have to have you back for a topic about that because setting boundaries goes hand in hand with self love. Sandy once you Start getting that self love and wanting to set boundaries. If you're not used to it, it might feel very uncomfortable, and you might need a little reinforcement.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:09:39]:

Even though I felt like I knew it was right, but then I'd be like, why am I feeling guilty? And it's something really to develop.

Sandy Kovach [00:09:47]:

Setting boundaries with your time, that kind of thing.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:09:50]:

Setting boundaries for your time, setting boundaries as somebody's walking all over you, setting boundaries as somebody's trying to take advantage of you. There's so many things. You can even be setting boundaries with a parent. People have parents that can be a toxic parent, and now we're adults with our own children Setting boundaries that this cannot happen in my household. They're setting boundaries all across the board. Mhmm. It could be with a great girlfriend. You love her to death, and she is So much fun to be with.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:10:18]:

However, she's just gonna come over 247, and everything is gonna be about her, which is fun. But when you have to get things done, you know, setting and Respecting your time. Right. So that is a huge topic. And number 11 is my favorite. Live life intentionally. You know, as I mentioned before, don't be stuck in your past, in the guilt. Forgive yourself.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:10:40]:

Don't worry, you know, living so much to the future. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. Setting goals that aren't realistic for the future. You're worrying. Live in the present. Deal with day to day, and most importantly, living intentionally. Make sure you have time to have some fun.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:10:55]:

I know in midlife right now, I'm having a blast because I have more time to myself. I'm going out with girlfriends to small restaurants. I'm loving midlife. I'm it's gonna be my best years. I'm finding time for myself. I don't feel guilty anymore if I tell my kids, I'm not making dinner tonight. You're 20. You're 18.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:11:13]:

Here, my credit card, go grocery shopping. Yes. And it it feels good. I'm like, oh, I have a new freedom, and it's wonderful. But a lot of these Ways I had to practice for self care and self love. So these are different things, and what I would love to end this with is I would love for everybody to think of one thing Out of 11 or if they have a different that they could write down. And writing down is really important when you're gonna try to make a change. It allows you to be more accountable.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:11:43]:

And if you're more accountable, if you have a Lanee you journal, put it in calendar, writing it down Sandy setting a date or a time That you're gonna start something. Am I gonna do this once a week? Is this a daily thing? Look at 1 area. We live in a world where we multitask so much In self love and self care, you really need to focus on 1 area at a time. It's proven through psychologists To create a positive habit, moderate habit, something positive Lanee. I'm not talking complex, but to do that, it takes 21 days. And to do something, to set a goal, set your goal 21 days. I'm not saying a whole year, but try to do something for 21 days to make a little change. The more you can do it Sandy then once that feels good and it becomes second nature, then look at the list of 11 and think of What else can I work on? Bit by bit, the more you work on positive mindset in these different areas Of self love, self care, self appreciation.

Kerry Rasenberger [00:12:47]:

The more you do, it just becomes part of life, and you aren't thinking about it anymore. Yeah. And if I could give anything to anybody listening today, that's what I'd hope that they can walk away with.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:57]:

Some great stuff from Carrie there. And one of the things she mentioned was boundaries. Now we did a whole episode with Leslie Horner from Better Than Balanced, and she dropped some major wisdom on setting boundaries with ourselves, also known as breaking a bad habit.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:14]:

And I feel like it's Just really important to balance, the concept of boundaries with balance. You just can't have balance if you don't say some no's, even to yourself. Say no to the pizza sometimes. Say no to the shopping spree sometimes.

Leslie Hoerner [00:13:31]:

Yeah. So you're laughing at

Lanée Blaise [00:13:32]:

me because she knows that I've been battling with this myself.

Leslie Hoerner [00:13:36]:

One of my my downfalls is I love eating hot tamales. The candy Yeah. After Molly's, I have a jar of them. And it's like, once in a while is okay, but sometimes I find myself eating them to soothe my emotions. And we do that with binge watching TV. We do that with food, with alcohol. I actually, in January of 2019, Decided to create an impossible goal, which I absolutely quit drinking alcohol. And what happened was I had a 5 o'clock happy hour habit.

Leslie Hoerner [00:14:11]:

After a hard day's work, I would have a glass of wine or whatever. And I was raised that way, And I just decided it wasn't serving me anymore. And so my coach had a program where you could decondition your desire. And really could be with food, it could be with shopping, it can be with anything. But for me, I decided that wasn't serving me anymore. And so I actually deconditioned my desire for alcohol, and I don't even think about it anymore. And that was January 2019. So it is possible To retrain yourself in areas that are not serving you, numbing ourselves so we don't have to feel negative emotions.

Leslie Hoerner [00:14:54]:

And that's an example of saying no to something that's not serving us.

Sandy Kovach [00:14:59]:

Right. And you had me at decondition your desire because it's Nice little buzzword. And I I mean, and you know, I know you're not gonna come and explain, like, every little bit of it, but can you give us a, reader's digest on that?

Leslie Hoerner [00:15:11]:

Yeah. I Absolutely can, for sure. Because if I can do it, anybody can do it. It's just not answering the Called to their urge. For instance, it's so weird that literally at 5 p. M, I would think, oh, Go pour a glass of wine. You worked hard all day. And when that bell kind of rung for me, what I would do is allow The negative emotion to exist in my body and acknowledge it, like, yep.

Leslie Hoerner [00:15:39]:

You can feel that. You want that. It's okay. And the reason why was because I did not ever want to waste another tomorrow not feeling my best self Sandy sleeping well. And that was my why. And so my coach has this urge jar. So what I did was I had a 100 little beads Sandy I put them in wine glasses. And what I would do is when I processed Sandy urged and allowed a negative emotion to exist in my body and know that I'm not gonna die, That it's okay to feel negative.

Leslie Hoerner [00:16:13]:

Then I would just take a glass bead and move it from 1 jar to the next, 1 glass to the next. As the 100 days go past, you can visually see your progress. And it got to the point, like, after 3 weeks that I didn't even Remember to put the bead into the other jar. But what it's doing is it's just retraining your pathway. It's really So amazing. I sleep better. I wake up as my best self. And I just decided there's no way that I'm gonna waste another Tomorrow, I'm not feeling great because of this.

Leslie Hoerner [00:16:47]:

And people can do it with food. You could do it with whatever you feel like is gripping you. You're able to allow the negative emotions and just transform your life, really. That's true self care to me.

Sandy Kovach [00:16:59]:

That is very cool. And you're right. You could do that with anything. And, you know, I stopped drinking wine too for the same reason just because, you know, you get older Sandy You just feel crappy the next day from 1 glass of wine, and you're like, when did this happen? But but Totally. Yeah. Sandy for me, it wasn't really a big deal, but there are other things like certain sugar. Like, I'm a sugar addict. Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:23]:

I could totally see getting by a day without something with processed Sugar is something I like I would like to do.

Leslie Hoerner [00:17:30]:

Sandy 2, it's not willpower. It's not like saying I'm gonna go 5 days not eating Sure. Because your willpower will run out.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:39]:

Okay.

Leslie Hoerner [00:17:40]:

But the secret is allowing that negative emotion to just Exist in your body Sandy acknowledge it Sandy know your why, your reason for not, and then allowing yourself to just Feel it. Because a lot of times willpower is just like, I'm not gonna eat sugar or have alcohol for 5 days and it never lasts. It's really us numbing our negative emotions with whatever it is. So it's just deciding what's not serving you, Questioning it. Is this what I want in my life? If it's not, it's really stepping back and finding What truly is true for you? Sandy, like, with me and alcohol, I just knew it wasn't serving me to my highest self. I actually prayed for a solution because it's an addictive habit. It can be. And so I just Excited.

Leslie Hoerner [00:18:36]:

Like, I'm gonna find a way, and my coach had a program, and it was just super awesome where you can allow your negative emotions instead of numbing them.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:46]:

Yeah. And, of course, some people might have a more serious issue, and that's that's something else again. But yeah. Lanee, it looks like you're about to say something.

Lanée Blaise [00:18:53]:

I was just gonna say the 2 parts that I really noticed are, again, going back and identifying why you feel attached to this habit that is Not serving you well. And once you get to the root of why you're doing it, you may take away the desire to have it anymore. And then like you said, Sandy, Sometimes it's harder than we think, and we might need help. We might need professional help. We might need counseling or therapy or coaching or something To give us better instructions to lead us to why we're struggling with this and how to overcome it.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:30]:

Okay. While we're on the subject of overcoming, we wanna feature another life coach, Grace Brown, who taught us a lot about overcoming our fears. And what's one of the number 1 fears out there? Public speaking. Listen to what she had to say about that.

Grace Brown [00:19:47]:

So you're afraid to speak publicly. And so people think, well, I'm not afraid of that because we think public speaking or thinking on a stage or on TV or something like that, but public Meeting also includes meeting the in laws. You'd be afraid of that. Right? Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:01]:

That's a big one.

Grace Brown [00:20:02]:

Going to the 1st, you know, family reunion or going to the first In law, when you're a plus one and you're like, oh my goodness. I'm gonna meet his family or friends, that's essentially public speaking. Another example of public speaking could be where women get stuck in their career because that position that they actually want will require them to do presentations. There's many different examples and many different instances where we are public speaking and that fear can show up. So that's why I let people know, hey. The very thing that you're afraid of, work on that. Yes. I'll use myself as an example of public speaking in the workplace.

Grace Brown [00:20:39]:

I had this position and found out that we have to do these quarterly business reviews in front of VPs, and the presentation was gonna be shared, you know, with Presidents and this and that. And it's like, oh my goodness. You know? And I had never done that before. So I was afraid to speak publicly or afraid to speak in front of them. And What if I don't know what I'm talking about, or what if I don't have the numbers right? What if I start talking in circles? Because I tend to talk in circles. Or What if I notice something or somebody gives me a look or something, and maybe I'm saying something wrong? Because our brain takes in 2,000,000 bits of information per second. You can be speaking to a crowd, and you may lock eyes with that 1 person who's looking at you sideways or so you think, and they just may have gas. Or they're thinking about what they're gonna eat, or they probably, you know, saw they have a text notification from their kid's school, And they can't answer it right away.

Grace Brown [00:21:29]:

They can't step away right away. So they're not even thinking about you, but because that's how we already went to that situation with fear, That's how we're gonna interpret that look. So those are some of the fears that I had. I was really concerned about not knowing what I was talking about. Fear can be an indicator of the very thing you need to work on. And once you overcome that, then you essentially overcome at least that aspect of the fear. And so By being concerned about not knowing what I was talking about, I did more research then. And then as you do more research and more homework and you become more competent, Then with that competence, you become more confident, and that creates the competence confidence loop.

Grace Brown [00:22:04]:

And then you get over the fear of Knowing what you're talking about because you've done your research. Nice. Also, when it comes to locking eyes with somebody who may throw you off, especially a very visual person, Make that connection with somebody who is giving you that nonverbal positive feedback. That can encourage you, like, okay. I'm saying something right. I'm doing the right thing. You can even have somebody in the audience that, you know, is on your team, and they're that person you can look at, And they're giving you that thumbs up or that wink or something, letting you know that you're on the right track, or they're letting you know that the audience is ohing and aahing and that They're getting it right and that you're doing a good job. And then, you know, of course, you're gonna hear things like practice and rehearse.

Grace Brown [00:22:44]:

And because all that's out there, that's why I'm not even touching on that. I like to get a little bit deeper. Yeah. So that's an example of, like, you know, overcoming fear of public speaking.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:53]:

Finally, we're gonna hit on one more thing that Well, coach Sheila Sutherland has something to say about how to control our reactions. And so did that lead you to become involved in this program? What it's called again?

Sheila Sutherland [00:23:18]:

Called Oh Shift.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:20]:

Oh, SHIFT, s h I f t e. Yes. Tell us about that.

Sheila Sutherland [00:23:23]:

Because a lot of times we say the other without the s.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:26]:

Not we don't because we're

Lanée Blaise [00:23:28]:

We're an imagine yourself world.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:31]:

We've never said that.

Grace Brown [00:23:32]:

In our heads.

Lanée Blaise [00:23:33]:

In our

Sheila Sutherland [00:23:33]:

heads, we may have. Never outwardly.

Sandy Kovach [00:23:36]:

So let's go from the Bad words to the good ones. Go ahead.

Sheila Sutherland [00:23:40]:

The shifting shifting your mindset, shifting how you feel about things, and what we can control. And I I usually tell people, really, the only thing in life that we have control of is our reaction. There's very little in life that we can have ultimate control over. There's too many variables, too many things that are at play for us to control everything. And I think those of us, and I mean, I will count myself in that, that are the type a personalities who like to have control. Yeah. Yep. It can be a little tough.

Lanée Blaise [00:24:15]:

Monet? Yeah. I'm very down to the penny. Yes.

Sheila Sutherland [00:24:21]:

You know, not calling anyone out right now. Right. You know, it's

Lanée Blaise [00:24:24]:

I'll claim it, actually. Unless

Lanée Blaise [00:24:27]:

I just I get

Sheila Sutherland [00:24:28]:

I'm gonna fly that flag.

Lanée Blaise [00:24:29]:

Yeah. Because, Sheila, I get So frustrated. Sometimes I do feel like, I'm a person of faith, so I do love and trust God. But I know there's people have their destiny. People have their Fate. There's the universe. There's circumstances that just happen. There's natural disasters, and it makes life so uncontrollable.

Sheila Sutherland [00:24:47]:

I need to maybe understand how to nurture the parts that I can choose and balance that with the parts that I can't choose so that I don't Yeah. Go crazy.

Sandy Kovach [00:24:57]:

And so how do we get there?

Sheila Sutherland [00:24:59]:

So one of the easiest ways that I tell people is Whenever we're in that situation, okay, so something happens. There's some experience. There's something going on, and you can feel it in your body somewhere Where the reaction is coming. Everyone has it a little bit differently. I, a lot of times, will feel it kind of in my stomach and feel it rising up through my chest, And I know something is getting ready to come out of my mouth that maybe I don't want.

Sheila Sutherland [00:25:26]:

Uh-huh. Okay. It's like a

Lanée Blaise [00:25:28]:

thought coming to a boil.

Sheila Sutherland [00:25:31]:

So a big part of all of this is the self awareness to start seeing and knowing what that fields in my body before it happens. Because a lot of times, we have an experience. We say something or we react in some way, Then we stop and go, oh, I didn't really mean to say that, or that wasn't my inside voice. And now I have to

Sandy Kovach [00:25:53]:

Was that out loud?

Sheila Sutherland [00:25:54]:

You know, now I'm in damage control. Yeah. That can be damaging to any relationship. Like, we're talking all types of relationships, friendships, work relationships, romantic, whatever. It's first building that self awareness of what does that feel like. We all have a certain trigger in us that we can feel it.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:13]:

So when you say triggers, are you talking, like, positive, negative, good, bad?

Sheila Sutherland [00:26:17]:

It can be anything. Sandy it's interesting you said that too because I try really hard Not to focus on emotions being bad or good.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:27]:

Okay.

Sheila Sutherland [00:26:28]:

Emotions are just emotions. They're all there. They all have a reason. A lot of times I hear people say, I can't be angry. I can't be sad, you know, because those are wrong emotions. There's no wrong. There's no bad. It's there for a reason, and it's up to us to figure out what that reason is.

Sheila Sutherland [00:26:43]:

And that could, again, come out in a way that maybe We don't want it to, or we might have to go, oh, that was a little too much. Extra. It's the yeah. Like, woah, dial it down. Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:26:56]:

That would be me. K. So if Lanee is the type a, I'm the extra. Yeah. You can imagine.

Sheila Sutherland [00:27:00]:

Oh, there we go. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:27:01]:

The 2 of us get

Lanée Blaise [00:27:05]:

That's what

Sheila Sutherland [00:27:06]:

we gotta do.

Sheila Sutherland [00:27:07]:

to me, though, like, what you're saying is kind to go ahead and allow yourself to Feel the emotions, but to process them before you open your mouth. And to, and that's a a form of choosing also. You are choosing To have discretion, process it first, think about how you want to react, and then you're choosing your reaction even though you didn't Choose the way you felt, and you didn't choose the emotion that hit you, and you didn't choose that punch in the gut. But at least you didn't have to Go all out and act on it. Exactly. And then have these terrible possibly terrible consequences. Right?

Lanée Blaise [00:27:47]:

Yes. Because I want to encourage everybody To feel the feel.

Sandy Kovach [00:27:51]:

All the feels. You

Sheila Sutherland [00:27:52]:

know what? All of them. All the feels that there are because I think we're starting to become a little bit desensitized to some of our feelings because we're thinking that they're bad and or that we don't know how to manage them. But we are humans. That's a part of our human experience is to feel all those feelings. And I think when we Cut ourself off from part of it. We are missing out or we are dulling down a part of us, and I think that as a part of What's creating a lot of the stress, the anxiety, and the overwhelm that's happening.

Sandy Kovach [00:28:28]:

And Sheila went on with some good tips For dealing with negative emotions, her episode is back in season 1 called Imagine Yourself Choosing Your Best Life. So we encourage you to go back to listen to that one and the ones from Carrie, Grace, and Leslie, which are Part of season 3, and we have all of that listed out at imagine yourself podcast.com with links to the episode, and you'll find those in the show notes too. Or you can just go back and scroll through either way. Regardless, hope you enjoyed our tips from some of our favorite life coaches. In a couple weeks, we're gonna collect some of our Favorite career coaches and health coaches, mental health experts, and people from the faith community as well. Hope you enjoy these best of as we lead up to season 4. If you have a moment, we hope that you'll connect with us on social media or at imagine yourself podcast.com. Maybe you can Take a moment too to give us a rating or review.

Sandy Kovach [00:29:24]:

It helps other people to find us. We're just so glad you're part of the Imagine Yourself

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