Imagine Yourself…Understanding Your Why (Discovering What Truly Motivates You)
- Lanee and Sandy
- May 20, 2019
- 1 min read
Updated: Jun 21, 2024
Who? You.
When? Right now.
Where? Wherever you happen to be sitting.
What? The direction of your life in this season.
Why? Aha!! THAT is the real question!
Why are you choosing the things you’ve been choosing in life? Why have you been moving in certain directions? Why are you doing the things you do and saying the things you say?
WHY does it matter if you understand your WHY?
Well…if you are completely happy with the way your life is, then you might not care about your why, but if you need an extra incentive to keep on going or if you want to make some fresh changes in your life, then we need to reveal the WHY behind it all.
Humans often choose the simplest route to arrive at their destination. However, when discovering your why, you might have to ditch the simple route and surface levels. You might need to embrace different perspectives in order to get different results. You might have to turn on the bright lights, take a good look in the mirror, and get real with yourself.
Do a deep dive. Look for patterns in your life, influences that have had an effect on you, and the inner dialogue you have within your head so that you can figure out your genuine why. After some digging, you might decide it’s best to create a brand new why that can help you rise to be exactly who you want to be, doing what you want to do, when and where you want.
Why should you listen to this episode on Why?
We say, “Why not?”
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Sandy Kovach [00:00:01]:
Life can throw a lot at you, but imagine if your life were different, better, not because of what's coming at you, but because of what's coming from you. Let's get there together. Join us and imagine yourself.
Lanée Blaise [00:00:14]:
Welcome to Imagine Yourself. I'm Lanee.
Sandy Kovach [00:00:17]:
And this is Sandy. And, Lanee, it's time for that question. What are we imagining today?
Lanée Blaise [00:00:23]:
Why?
Sandy Kovach [00:00:23]:
Why? Why? Like, w h y y or
Lanée Blaise [00:00:27]:
Yeah. W h y. We are searching for our y in life.
Sandy Kovach [00:00:32]:
Oh, that's like the buzzword thingy
Lanée Blaise [00:00:44]:
The motivation behind all your actions, your choices, your words, your movements, your everything. Your purpose. Your purpose. Yes.
Sandy Kovach [00:00:53]:
But that's only part of it.
Lanée Blaise [00:00:54]:
Your purpose can be something that matters for your whole life or a huge chunk of your life. Whereas your why can be something that's more on a temporary basis or perhaps a long term basis.
Sandy Kovach [00:01:09]:
Okay. So purpose is more like big picture.
Lanée Blaise [00:01:11]:
Yes.
Sandy Kovach [00:01:12]:
And then your why may have partially to do with your big picture, but also breaking it down into smaller things. And so why why is this such a buzzword these days?
Lanée Blaise [00:01:22]:
I think it's a buzzword because people find themselves dissatisfied with the way things are going in their lives. Let's put it like this: you want to make sure that your life has purpose and meaning and that you're moving the direction that you want to. I have a few questions just for people to ponder. Why are you living in the city that you live in now? Why did you say that particularly hurtful thing to someone that you care about yesterday or last week? Why are you inviting that person to your house for your special day, your special celebration, when maybe you know you don't care for them? Why are you gonna go ahead and apply for a different job? Why did you go to church last weekend? Why are you thinking of adopting a child? These are all different. Doesn't apply to everybody, but why?
Sandy Kovach [00:02:15]:
Okay. So some of the things that you were mentioning are very small. Some of the things are very big, and some of them might seem small but could be very big. Like, I picked up on the one that where you said, why did you say that hurtful thing? Which is a small thing in someone's daily life, but could have a major effect.
Lanée Blaise [00:02:33]:
Exactly. I chose those questions because I really wanna think about expanding your view of why. Like you said, the big ones, the big purpose, the big picture with your whole purpose in life versus something that small, but it does affect. And why? Why did you say it so that you get to the root of it and you can perhaps change the behavior for something better? Because that's what we're all about. Right?
Sandy Kovach [00:02:55]:
Imagine yourself. We're trying to because our words and our actions and our whys affect other people.
Lanée Blaise [00:03:01]:
Exactly. So this understanding your why, like you said, is a buzzword. It's been a big buzzword lately with motivational speakers and TED Talks and things like that, but I wanted to really emphasize it because understanding your why and identifying it can help make sure that you personally are moving in the direction that you want to versus just aimlessly wandering around and saying any old thing, you know, getting the wrong results and remaining unhappy and wondering, how did I get here? Yeah. Also, understanding your why can help you persevere and even just get through things when the going gets really tough.
Sandy Kovach [00:03:46]:
That reminds me of one of those old philosophical quotes.
Lanée Blaise [00:03:51]:
That is what we need.
Sandy Kovach [00:03:52]:
I was just gonna leave it at that, but I because I didn't wanna pronounce the name. But we've all studied Nietzsche, Nietzsche. Oh, you know? Yes. In college or whatever. Not everyone, but anybody who took a philosophy class, probably. Right? You know that name.
Lanée Blaise [00:04:04]:
Yeah. Get those words of wisdom from the ancient ones. Alright.
Lanée Blaise [00:04:08]:
Drop it for us, Sandy.
Sandy Kovach [00:04:11]:
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. Yes. If you've got a reason and a purpose behind why you're doing something, you can endure even bad situations.
Lanée Blaise [00:04:24]:
Create better situations. Right? Yeah. And whether you're having good times or those bad times that we discussed, it is easier to identify what's your what. Mhmm. You know, we might say, what I want to do is buy that dress, or what I want to do is have more money or have a baby, but the next question should be you followed up with why.
Sandy Kovach [00:04:51]:
Right. It's not always obvious. You might think it's obvious, but sometimes it's not.
Lanée Blaise [00:04:56]:
Sometimes it's not obvious, and sometimes once you think about the why, you start realizing maybe the what is not what you need to be doing. Right. And it can help you with discipline and self control issues and things like that. So you wanna get to the why. And like you said, it's sometimes it's harder than you think. We did that podcast on loving what you do. Do you remember with doctor Viva?
Sandy Kovach [00:05:19]:
Yeah.
Lanée Blaise [00:05:19]:
And it was talking about careers and she didn't talk about it exactly as understanding your why, but she did explain to us why you might be feeling unhappy in your current job and remember how she said sometimes you can dig a little deeper and you might even be able to keep your current job, but you just make a few little changes and tweaks either within the job or outside the job to make sure you get that fulfillment level. Right. Exactly. How she was kinda teaching us then. She didn't have an example of, someone who loved acting and wanted to pursue acting, but as it turns out, the type of job she was doing with the presentations and things, she was actually kind of getting that out of her. Because a lot of times we feel like we have this potential inside of us and we need to it's untapped potential and you might be able to work within the framework of your own life and your own job and your own relationship and still get the desired results.
Sandy Kovach [00:06:18]:
Right. Exactly. Instead of looking outward, like, whether it's something small like buying a dress or something big like finding a new job, you may be able to find another dress in your closet or you may
Lanée Blaise [00:06:30]:
you because you might find that the the reason you're doing the why is because you're trying to look different or trying to impress somebody you don't even need to impress or you got caught up with consumerism.
Sandy Kovach [00:06:42]:
It can be a million things. Yeah. It's not always bad to buy the dress. We're gonna just put that out there right now or the shoes or anything else. But, yeah, sometimes you do have to take a look and take a step back as to why you're doing the different things. So that's the one level that we're talking about is the day to day decisions, the buy the dress decisions. The the other level is more like that Nietzsche. I wanna call him Nietzsche.
Sandy Kovach [00:07:04]:
Can I call him Nietzsche? Even though that's not the way you pronounce it.
Lanée Blaise [00:07:06]:
I think it is, though.
Sandy Kovach [00:07:08]:
Let's Well, no. I looked it up on Forvo or whatever that yes. It's Nietzsche. Yeah. Goodness. I know. I don't I can't say it like that.
Lanée Blaise [00:07:15]:
I think we Americans just say Nietzsche. Going with Nietzsche. Yeah. Okay. Sounds cool. Gucci and Nietzsche.
Sandy Kovach [00:07:21]:
That German philosopher.
Lanée Blaise [00:07:26]:
Back to dresses.
Sandy Kovach [00:07:27]:
No. So he was talking more about, on a big level. You can endure any why or anyhow, anything that's going on if you know why. Sandy, you have just made a really good point with that whole quote and with
Lanée Blaise [00:07:42]:
that whole concept of enduring. Because let me tell you, when times are rough, your why might just be a simple, practical, temporary thing of my why is just getting through this rough patch in my life alive and with my sanity intact.
Sandy Kovach [00:08:04]:
Sometimes it is day to day like that, isn't it?
Lanée Blaise [00:08:06]:
No. Yes. And that's the part where when you concentrate on why you're doing something and what your why is, it is the motivation and then it can motivate you. It works both ways.
Sandy Kovach [00:08:17]:
When we talked to Kim Adams, one of our last podcasts Yes. And she was saying how tough it is and how she can have a breakdown. She remembers those 5 kids. Exactly. That is her why.
Lanée Blaise [00:08:30]:
That is her why for doing everything. And for many people, maybe my why is just taking care of and providing for my children. So that is why I am currently seeking employment. And she said that in podcast too. She was had to hustle for the sake of her children. Yeah. Or getting your kids through college successfully or surviving a medical diagnosis or an unhealthy relationship. The endurance will come because you know why you're doing it.
Sandy Kovach [00:09:00]:
That's the big why.
Lanée Blaise [00:09:01]:
That's the big why.
Sandy Kovach [00:09:02]:
So we've got the big whys, and we have the little whys.
Lanée Blaise [00:09:05]:
Yes. So now when you talk about big and little whys, it makes me think of big and little people. And little people, the way we came here in this Earth I don't know if you think about this, but children, every single time they ask you a question and you answer the question, they say, why? You say, you know, the sky is blue. Why? You have to go to bed now. Why? You have to eat your broccoli. Why?
Sandy Kovach [00:09:34]:
I still ask why I have to eat my broccoli.
Lanée Blaise [00:09:37]:
I like it now. But do you see how if we not to that annoying level, but if we kind of adopt a little bit of that, it could be helpful to us if we start to think I'm about to do a, b, or c. Why?
Sandy Kovach [00:09:52]:
Oh my gosh. If we were to stop and think about that instead of just plowing forward and look up from our phones and think about it for a moment. Yeah. I think that would definitely help on a day to day basis and to sit down and just think in general, like, whether you're at a point of breakdown or whether you're just at any point in time when you wanna assess, okay. Are these my goals? Why am I pursuing this?
Lanée Blaise [00:10:16]:
Exactly. Because let me tell you something else. What you're saying is good because the opposite part, these same little people that I'm talking about, these children
Sandy Kovach [00:10:24]:
Yeah.
Lanée Blaise [00:10:25]:
They do something else also. They will climb up on a bookshelf and try to jump over to the other bookshelf and then fall down and break their arm And when you look at them and you say, baby, why did you do that? I don't know.
Sandy Kovach [00:10:42]:
Yes. Do we want to
Lanée Blaise [00:10:44]:
be like that? Do we want to be the one that sits around and if someone asks us, you know, why did you do that? I don't know. We want to know.
Sandy Kovach [00:10:54]:
If we say it like that, maybe we can get away with it. Like if our boss is like, why did you do that? Just act like a kid and that tote. I don't know. I don't know.
Lanée Blaise [00:11:04]:
But now that you've listened to this this session and you've trying to understand your why, all the all the TED Talks people actually call it, what's your why?
Sandy Kovach [00:11:12]:
What's your why?
Lanée Blaise [00:11:12]:
What's your why? But in this case, just why is your why? We want to be able to come up with a better answer than I don't know. Here's another one again with young people. When you were younger, Sandy, did you have a particular movie star or boy band or anything that you just loved? Oh my gosh. Yeah.
Sandy Kovach [00:11:37]:
You know what? There were a lot of boy bands or just rock stars, I guess I probably you. Or little movie stars or little crushes. And I still have them. Them. You know, every time Denzel Washington comes on or who's that guy from Parks and Rec that was also in, Guardians of the Galaxy? Chris Pratt. Pratt. Okay.
Lanée Blaise [00:11:56]:
Yes.
Sandy Kovach [00:11:57]:
Somebody like that. Every time one of those guys comes on, my husband's like, oh, there's your boyfriend. See? So
Lanée Blaise [00:12:02]:
But now the difference between then and now of course, it's married. That's what I'm Alright. Of course. But and you and you got your rhetoric here. But but the difference is if you were like me, you had their posters up on your wall.
Sandy Kovach [00:12:18]:
Oh, right. And I don't do that. Yeah. Not even a screensaver. Nope.
Lanée Blaise [00:12:20]:
Hopefully, you have you have your husband's picture of a book. But but, you know, you had the posters up. I had them on my ceiling, in my closet. Oh my gosh. I was in love with Ralph Macchio, The Karate Kid. Oh, no. Yeah. Little skinny karate yes.
Lanée Blaise [00:12:35]:
I loved him. I looked him up. He had a girlfriend. She's a nurse. Her name is Phyllis. I was like, oh, man. Phyllis got to him. And this dude was he must have been at least 10 years older than me, but I loved the karate kid.
Lanée Blaise [00:12:47]:
I was going to be his woman as soon as Phyllis moved out the way. And I read about you see, I read about him. I put posters up in the wall, ceilings in my closet. I watched The Karate Kid movie millions of times because my why was that I wanted to be with him. And I supported that decision wholeheartedly. But he was shorted. So my poor husband's like, oh, really? Okay. But, but no.
Lanée Blaise [00:13:15]:
So in this case, can we do that not with the movie stars and the celebrities and stuff like that, but can we do that with the things, the projects, the passions that we do have in our heart? We put positive affirmations up. We put quotes. We read about it. We read how to books. We try to do everything to enhance that why, that motivation.
Sandy Kovach [00:13:38]:
Yeah. Absolutely. We identify it, and then we have to follow through with, okay, Lanee not posters on our wall. But I guess we do have pictures of our family, if our family is a big why.
Lanée Blaise [00:13:51]:
People have dream boards?
Sandy Kovach [00:13:52]:
Dream boards.
Lanée Blaise [00:13:53]:
Yes. Those those can be very powerful. Even just things that you for Instagram, the people and organizations that you choose to follow on Instagram can be very self affirming and very productive if you choose the right things and you're getting the types of material. If you're a financial person or you're a fashion person, those should be the things that we see evident in your life.
Sandy Kovach [00:14:19]:
I follow a lot of dogs on Instagram.
Lanée Blaise [00:14:23]:
So your why is that one day you hope to be the top dog. No.
Sandy Kovach [00:14:29]:
But okay. Yeah. I I know what you mean. Yeah. I I follow a lot of positive people on Instagram, motivational people as well. But I, you know, I have a thing for Shih Tzus. And so
Lanée Blaise [00:14:39]:
So that's okay. Thank you.
Sandy Kovach [00:14:40]:
But that's okay too. Okay.
Lanée Blaise [00:14:41]:
And you and you have dogs off.
Sandy Kovach [00:14:43]:
I do. I do. I should do. Yes. Yep. There you go. So following people on Instagram or Twitter or, you know, whatever it is, putting up your dream board. Tell me a little bit more about how you do a dream board.
Lanée Blaise [00:14:56]:
So your dream board now remember, this is all a very customized, individualized thing. I don't personally have a dream board, but I do promise you that I have these. I'm just such a writing type person, hands on person. I have notebooks for the different things that I am interested in, I fill up those notebooks or almost like scrapbook or notebooks, things like that. So mine is not particularly a dream board. So I don't have the luxury of being able to look up in a on a certain wall and see that. Okay. But what I'm encouraging even more is just whether it is something on your wall, books in your room, something in your house, there should be a shelf or a closet or a drawer even that contains all those things that make up what you wanna be and why you wanna be there.
Sandy Kovach [00:15:54]:
Yes. And so you can look at it. And can I throw another why into a different direction here? Yes. Real quick here. My nail tech, who I call doctor Rita, unlike your doctor Lanee, but my other therapist is is Rita, who I go see for my nails. She does an amazing job. She said, why could also be why not? So in other words, if you see people doing things and you think, well, I could never do that. Well, why not? Why not?
Lanée Blaise [00:16:23]:
Why not me? Why not you? Yeah. This makes me wanna be reflective and and share. Is it okay if I share my why with you?
Sandy Kovach [00:16:33]:
I love it when you share because it's always awesome. Go ahead.
Lanée Blaise [00:16:37]:
And it falls right in line with what you just said because I definitely have fears and things that intimidate me And this season in my life because that's why I said the part with why it can change. Right? But this particular season in my life, my why is why I'm doing the things that I'm doing. It does have to start with my what, and my what is that my kids are older now. I've got one off in college, one going off to high school, and I have been participating in things and doing things with people that are meaningful to me, things with my family, my friends, my church, my career path that I didn't have either the courage or the time to do before. Ah. And so my why is that I finally realized, and it's through, unfortunately, the the death of a few of my aunts and people close to me, life is precious and life is short, And I want to reshape my life in a way that I get to use the gifts and the vitality that I have been given as a gift from God and I want to use it. It's been sitting dormant since high school. I want to use it before my time on earth is over.
Lanée Blaise [00:17:57]:
That is my why for doing the podcast that we're doing, for doing the public speaking events that I've been working on and being invited to, for doing the writing projects that I've been working on because life is precious. It is. That's my why.
Sandy Kovach [00:18:15]:
And the loss that you've seen recently has kind of driven that desire to do that even more. I can kinda see it in your face. It feels like you're getting emotional just thinking about it.
Lanée Blaise [00:18:26]:
Sandy, my best friend from middle school, and we have kept in touch all these years. Her mother passed away in this past 24 hour period and and you know follow-up. But you know, my aunt passed away right before Easter. It's just it is saddening yet motivating. Yeah. Because we
Sandy Kovach [00:18:48]:
all go at some point. Right. But losing someone that's close to you or your best friend's mom.
Lanée Blaise [00:18:55]:
Yeah. It just makes me rethink. I want to be more intentional about spending time with people, the ones that I love. Everything is operating. Even my husband's like, you are just different. He said this just this weekend. You are different lately. Are you okay? I said, I'm okay.
Lanée Blaise [00:19:14]:
Maybe I'm going through a midlife crisis. I don't know. I don't know what kind of car you got. Right. No. You still got your minivan or See, that's the part. My son was like, I thought that was like a thing where you get a sports car or something. I said, I think mine is different.
Sandy Kovach [00:19:27]:
What's your midlife crisis?
Lanée Blaise [00:19:28]:
My midlife crisis is any event that any family member has. I'm gonna make sure I'm there. My cousin had her 40th birthday party. My sister had her baby gender reveal. He's like, can you manage going all these different things back to I'm like, yep. I'm going everything. I'm doing everything. That's my why.
Sandy Kovach [00:19:46]:
Yeah. Being there for people, spending the time for the people in your lives that you care about and adding meaning to their lives, adding meaning and encouragement to yours.
Lanée Blaise [00:04:08]:
That's it
Sandy Kovach [00:19:57]:
There couldn't be a better why, really. And I think, although we are talking a little bit about career here, when it comes down to it, isn't that what we are here for? Just in general to encourage other people, whether they be people in our lives that we love or people that we don't know. I hope that people that we don't even know that listen to this podcast can be encouraged.
Lanée Blaise [00:20:20]:
Me too.
Sandy Kovach [00:20:20]:
And that we can be spreading love and that we can be letting everyone know that you're okay. It's okay. There's a lot of icky stuff out there in the world, and don't buy into it. That's right.
Lanée Blaise [00:20:32]:
If we can just yeah. Like you said, give a little light, a little love, and remind people that, yes, there are super hard times and there are super bad things, but there is also a whole chunk of babies being born and people who fall in love, and there are beautiful things going on too. Yeah. And that's the part to remember. So we had a podcast on loving thy neighbor and we've had one on balance and remembering that balance. There's a balance in this world. There's bad things, but there are beautiful good things happening too. That's what we do here.
Sandy Kovach [00:21:10]:
That's what we that is our why. That is the why of imagine yourself
Lanée Blaise [00:21:14]:
Exactly.
Sandy Kovach [00:21:15]:
Is to bring a little light. And I think if we just touch one person again, I'm bringing up my nail tech, Rita. She was talking about a podcast she listened to when we interviewed Kim Adams and the difficulties she's been through and overcome. And she was like, it literally brought me to tears because she has been through so much. But that emotional connection, if we can make that with people that allows them to take a next step in their life or allows them to smile or even in this case, cry, but just to connect and feel like, hey. If Kim could do it, if Sandy could do it, if Lanee can do it, I can do it too.
Lanée Blaise [00:21:53]:
Yes. And people like Rita are reminding you of that. Yeah. She is not actually a professional therapist. No. No. But she is a good person and has become a good friend and she is spreading her wisdom and light and love too.
Sandy Kovach [00:22:10]:
She is. I was like, Rita, you should go into, the therapy business. She's no. I like doing what I do. I'm seeing it, but
Lanée Blaise [00:22:17]:
but she is doing her own version of it.
Sandy Kovach [00:22:19]:
Yeah. She is. Yeah. I'm sure I'm not the only one she's helping. That's right.
Lanée Blaise [00:22:23]:
And that is why when you say why does your why even matter, you see now it matters because it determines where you will end up, what will happen in your life, who you're going to affect, and how will you feel about all of it in the end.
Sandy Kovach [00:22:40]:
Is it takeaway time, Doctor. Lanee?
Lanée Blaise [00:22:42]:
It sure is. Takeaway time. I would like to start takeaway time a little differently this time. First of all, I'm gonna call it action time. Alright. Okay. I just wanted to start it off with there's a very reassuring Bible verse from Isaiah and it just always reminds me that I can end up in the right direction. I can get support for my why.
Lanée Blaise [00:23:07]:
And it says, whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, this is the way, walk in it. And that's why I think we should do action steps because I urge you to please take the action, to sit undistracted and focus on your particular what's in your life. And then I want you to think of your real, true, genuine why behind it. Not surface level, but really, really what's the motivation, what's the why. Mhmm. And I ask you to focus on it and pray on it and seek that help and support for it and just make your life more intentional, more powerful, more enjoyable for yourself and for everyone around you.
Sandy Kovach [00:24:02]:
I think that if we sit down and make that assessment and we are honest with ourselves, it can be a lot more clear. Even if you don't lie, you're not a dishonest person. I feel like a lot of us lie to ourselves because we wanna say, this is my why, but really we know it's not.
Lanée Blaise [00:24:20]:
So And you don't want a little pat answer. You want a deeper, genuine one even if it's just you, like you said, just going to be honest with yourself, be brave enough to be honest with yourself. And then when you get to it, then you know how to proceed to support it and to move forward and to be different and to do different things to get different results. And we can imagine ourselves. Imagine yourself seeking, discovering, and understanding your true life.
Sandy Kovach [00:24:53]:
Thanks for listening. Now, we'd like to hear from you. Got an idea for the show? Wanna share your story or just say hello? Make sure you connect with us. You can do that at imagineyourselfpodcast.com, and we'll talk to you again next time when we have something new to imagine.
