Imagine Yourself Improvising – Adding Spontaneity to Your Life

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Sandy Kovach [00:00:01]:

Life can throw a lot at you, but imagine if your life were different, better, not because of what's coming at you, but because of what's coming from you. Let's get there together. Join us and imagine yourself.

Lanée Blaise [00:00:15]:

Welcome to Imagine Yourself. I'm Lanee.

Sandy Kovach [00:00:18]:

And this is Sandy, and what are we imagining today, Lanee?

Lanée Blaise [00:00:21]:

We're imagining just winging it every once in a while, doing things in a way we've never done them before. We wanna feel free. We wanna feel creative. We wanna feel spontaneous.

Sandy Kovach [00:00:34]:

I like winging it. Winging it is me. I'm a winging it kind of person. But you, on the other hand

Lanée Blaise [00:00:39]:

I like everything to be specific and planned and knowing at all.

Sandy Kovach [00:00:44]:

This will be a good conversation. Maybe we can argue, like, who's better?

Lanée Blaise [00:00:48]:

We sure can because let me tell you. For me, personally, to take on a task It's like being spontaneous is already out of my comfort zone. And if we're being honest, part of the reason that we decided to Talk about being spontaneous is because we're gonna try to be a little more spontaneous on this episode today, and so I didn't wanna Over prepare

Lanée Blaise [00:01:12]:

to have my starting opening, and then, you know, and then I can go from there. Then I could be spontaneous from there. But after reflecting on all this, I did feel like preparation and spontaneous are combating forces.

Sandy Kovach [00:01:25]:

They are, but you know what? To be honest with you, I don't completely not plan either. I don't just walk around and not have any plan for the day, or I don't think that that's good either. But I will say that a lack of spontaneity, it can hurt your creativity, I think.

Lanée Blaise [00:01:40]:

I think so too. Because here's the thing. Now as much as I say that I'm not crazy about being spontaneous, I did prepare for today at least one little thing. You gotta give me one little thing that I To prepare, as simple as this. I wanted to actually think about what is the full definition of spontaneous. Occurring as a result of a sudden Inner impulse without effort, without premeditation, natural and unconstrained, Happening in a natural, often sudden way without any planning and without being forced. Sandy when you hear it laid out like That doesn't that sound like a beautiful thing?

Sandy Kovach [00:02:18]:

It sounds like a positive thing, like living in the moment. Yes. There was this quote from a musician, John McLaughlin, who said, only in spontaneity can we be who we truly are.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:31]:

Yeah. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I don't want everybody to See who I truly am inside because then they'll be like, oh my goodness. This she's so far from perfect. She's got issues.

Sandy Kovach [00:02:42]:

Well, we all got issues. Here. I don't think so. I think you're just a good planner. I don't wanna come down on planning in this episode. Very recently, we talked about how the most organized people are generally the most successful people.

Lanée Blaise [00:02:56]:

That's true. That's a good part. Also, on my drive over here today, I try to do a little evaluation because this is not really my comfort zone. I'm grateful that it's in yours because I think it makes for a good combination. But do you notice sometimes the best people that can be objective in evaluating you are, like, Your girlfriends, your best friends, your BFFs.

Sandy Kovach [00:03:19]:

They're honest with you. Right?

Lanée Blaise [00:03:21]:

Yes. And I went ahead just because of this, I called up One of my little BFFs, my college roommate, and asked her, you wouldn't call me spontaneous, would you?

Sandy Kovach [00:03:31]:

Did she laugh?

Lanée Blaise [00:03:32]:

She she she tried her best to be thoughtful. She said, well, the fact that you plan everything thoroughly, like, The fact that you knew the exact day, time, moment, second that you conceived both of your children. Wow. You had planned what month you wanted To get pregnant in and when you wanted to have them, and you make scheduled times that I can talk to you on the phone. You know? Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:03:58]:

I'm familiar

Lanée Blaise [00:04:00]:

I do that with Sandy too. Like, I I could talk to you between this time and this. So she's like, so basically, no. I would not say that you're spontaneous. Sandy I'm like, can you think of Lanee time I was spontaneous? She's like, that time back in college, that one time where we decided to spontaneously go to TGI Fridays that night. Yeah. That was Wow.

Sandy Kovach [00:04:16]:

So one time at a restaurant. Yes. And but you probably knew what you wanted to order on the way over there.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:20]:

Absolutely. Yeah. I thought about what I want to order the last time I was there. You know? Look. I'm gonna order this this time, but next time I come, I'm gonna order Right.

Sandy Kovach [00:04:27]:

To plan for for your next time that you might go to TGI Fridays.

Lanée Blaise [00:04:30]:

But is but this whole this whole thing is making me think about, am I limiting myself? Am I limiting my fun, My joy, are others out there listening? Are they thinking about this a little bit different light now too?

Sandy Kovach [00:04:43]:

I think it comes down to personality, and I was reading a blog from somebody who is a planner just like you. And she literally said that she has to plan times not to plan. Like, she says, okay. I'm gonna give myself a couple hours on Friday where I'm gonna be spontaneous. And she said, don't judge. It works for me.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:03]:

I like that idea.

Sandy Kovach [00:05:05]:

So you there you go, Lanee. Okay.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:06]:

So but then what about the flip side? We love on this show to talk about balance, But on the flip side, there are some people who wanna do everything fly by the sea with their pants.

Sandy Kovach [00:05:16]:

Oh, yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:05:16]:

Go with the wind. What should those people do. Should they plan, like yeah. Or should they be, like, every Friday at this time, I'm gonna Lanee? Or you know? Well, maybe they said.

Sandy Kovach [00:05:27]:

But I don't think that they would come through with those plans because generally people like that are not very reliable because everything is spontaneity. But I do understand that people who are more spontaneous can be more creative because that's just the

Lanée Blaise [00:05:40]:

way their brain works. And we need those people in this world too. Right. I don't know if you're Beethoven or Bach back in the day. How do you plan to have this Great minuet, this great composition. It has to come to you, and you have to roll with it Sandy and be Spontaneous and be open to where it lands.

Sandy Kovach [00:06:00]:

I don't think that it's always a hard fast rule. Like, I'll use the case of my son. My son is in college, And he's a musician also, and his dream is to be in music. and he plays almost every instrument. He sings very well, and he writes a lot of the band songs. The band is called Boys in Ties. They met when they were in high school, but he's also in college getting a business degree and making straight a's. So he has a brain that I think is very creative, but yet he has learned to discipline it enough to do very well in, like, hard classes like statistics and accounting.

Sandy Kovach [00:06:33]:

But But then again, I walk into his room, and it's a tornado in there. So where does all that go?

Lanée Blaise [00:06:38]:

I like that example for two reasons. First of all, because I've heard your son's music, And I do love it. It takes me places back to where I was younger, which that's hard to do for especially someone with my personality. But so I love that part, but Also, they talk about show business, and it seems like he is dedicated to studying business

Sandy Kovach [00:06:57]:

Mhmm.

Lanée Blaise [00:06:57]:

And being able to do the show part of show business too. And that again is that word balance comes up.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:04]:

So, yeah, I don't know how the parts of somebody's brain can work in Excel in 2 different fields. But on like I mentioned with the room, he's not organized because his room's messy. But, I mean, he is

Lanée Blaise [00:07:16]:

as you person. Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:17]:

He's a guy.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:18]:

Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:19]:

But you would think somebody who is able to juggle all these things, and he has a part time job, and he he does all these other things, That you would think that someone like that would have to be super organized, but I guess he's organized in his own way because he's very successful.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:33]:

And is he happy?

Sandy Kovach [00:07:34]:

And he's happy.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:35]:

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:07:35]:

He's happy. I think he would love to be able to just go into the music business and not have to get a college degree, but that's not happening.

Lanée Blaise [00:07:41]:

But but he's disciplined enough to do it the full way. What about things like being spontaneous for big events? Things that are outside of your comfort zone, but you're gonna go ahead and jump into it anyway. Like, the big break, like, what if your son did get Some super great opportunity in the music world that will require him to

Sandy Kovach [00:08:05]:

Don't even say it.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:06]:

Don't say it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that from you. Book, Sandy school, dream, mom. But there are some of those things that come up. Right? I guess. We won't go there.

Sandy Kovach [00:08:18]:

How about got a scholarship too. So he's you know? Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:21]:

Yeah. He needs to okay.

Sandy Kovach [00:08:22]:

He needs

Lanée Blaise [00:08:22]:

to stay the course.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:23]:

get his course. Yeah. I know that everybody knows their own situation and their own flexibility level. And I know in my case, I can sometimes sit and stew on things and think about things and overanalyze it so long that maybe other times I've been blessed by just having to go for it. I know before I married my husband, we were young. We had both graduated college recently. We lived down in Miami, Florida. Super fun.

Lanée Blaise [00:08:54]:

We dated a few years. We were deeply in love, but he suddenly got a Great job opportunity in Michigan. And we didn't know anybody in Michigan, and we didn't have very much money. Everything was happening so fast. So he just proposed to me. I said yes. I drove up to Michigan. We looked in the yellow pages in the phone book.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:16]:

We figured out a place to get married. We got married on a Friday after work that day. We went to Red Lobster. Boom. Married. You went to Red Lobster? Yeah. That was, like, that was all the money we had. Those Those are the best ones, but again, yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:28]:

Nothing against Red Lobster, but no reception. No anything. Just boom. We had to call, because they we got to the courthouse. They said you have to have 2 witnesses. I'm like, oh, dear. I called my grandparents. They said, you've got some cousin who lives over in, Detroit, call them up and tell them to show up.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:43]:

They've never met you before, but they'll be your witnesses. Boom. Spontaneous. They did the paperwork, Got married.

Sandy Kovach [00:09:49]:

Oh my gosh.

Lanée Blaise [00:09:50]:

20 years later, happy. I didn't have time to overthink it. I kinda had cold feet, but I'm like, okay. I guess we're doing this.

Sandy Kovach [00:09:57]:

Wow. So you didn't even think twice. You just went for it.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:00]:

Just went for it, and I don't regret a single thing.

Sandy Kovach [00:10:04]:

So having gone through that, Doesn't it loosen you up a little bit or

Lanée Blaise [00:10:08]:

It should've. But it doesn't. The more I think about being spontaneous and the more that You even asked me that question. I do wanna say out there and push out to everyone that there are some very good reasons To be spontaneous case, I've been married 20 years, but wouldn't it be a little spicy and fun to be spontaneous sometimes in my relationship, in my marriage? Look every once in a while. You know? That's how I met my husband too, actually. That same college roommate that was talking to on the phone, and another college friend of mine So we gotta fix your look. You've got these big, huge plastic Sally Jesse Raphael glasses, and you've got, these clothes that are just Too big and don't fit, and your hair's this is Miami.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:55]:

So did

Sandy Kovach [00:10:55]:

you make ambush makeover? Yeah. Ambush makeover.

Lanée Blaise [00:10:58]:

They did my hair. They dressed me. They got me contact lenses. They sent me out into the world, and then boom. That's my husband had I passed by him Several times before, he'd never noticed me.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:08]:

Oh, behind the Sally Jesse Raphael glasses, which

Lanée Blaise [00:11:11]:

You can

Sandy Kovach [00:11:12]:

as a reference, you know, if you're too young, you might wanna Google

Lanée Blaise [00:11:16]:

Who she is and just the image, and you'll see there's these big red plastic glasses.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:21]:

Yes. Alright.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:22]:

So An ambush makeover sometimes is might be what we Lanee, and that can be a spiritual makeover, a physical makeover, an emotional makeover, like a overhaul, And we don't have to overthink it.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:34]:

But it did take some planning on your friend's part, though.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:36]:

Not much. I mean, they just called up. Hey. Keisha come down with the curling iron, the flat they didn't have flat irons. Like, they would come with the curling iron. We're gonna fix Lanee today. Okay. Just random.

Sandy Kovach [00:11:47]:

You have all this stuff in your past that you actually have been spontaneous. So Why wouldn't you call yourself a spontaneous person? It's not like you've never done anything spontaneous.

Lanée Blaise [00:11:58]:

Do you think it's because the things that I'm referring to are all things that only affected me personally? Now that I have a family, I have kids, I have to plan. I have to think ahead because it's more at stake than just me.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:11]:

That is probably every parent to some degree. Yeah. I mean, of course, there are things that I would have never been concerned with before I became a mom. And there was a period in my My life where I was a single mom, so it was, like, even double double. Mhmm.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:24]:

So And even the things that you've said about your son, you are gonna be dedicated to sticking to the plan.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:31]:

I'm the one that's supposed to be spontaneous.

Lanée Blaise [00:12:34]:

But when it comes to these other people, There's a season for planning, and there's a season for feeling free and going with the flow.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:42]:

So we got 2 things going on here. We've got the fact that people have different personalities

Lanée Blaise [00:12:47]:

Yes.

Sandy Kovach [00:12:47]:

With the day to day tasks, the down to the phone call for you. Yes. Or me, which is I have a general plan for the day, and I do juggle a lot. I do get everything done, but I'm much more free form. Right? Okay. And then we have the point you're making about youth Sandy then both of us are middle aged woman with kids. Yes. Right.

Sandy Kovach [00:13:08]:

And we both raised kids. So I think to try to compare us to somebody that's a 22 year old in college, which you were when you were talking about the scenario with your husband or around that age, It's probably not really a fair comparison. So some of the planning thing just comes with maturity and stuff that you have to do because you're responsible for Other little people in your life.

Lanée Blaise [00:13:32]:

There we have it because and what about this? Here's another one that just came to mind. What about the aspect of spontaneity where it can actually add dimension and character and new experiences to your life. Do you ever think about the situations where there are people Like, sometimes where someone came in and asked me to join in on what they were doing, and the only Thing that would have been stopping me would have been myself, and you kinda say, why not? And you go for it. Because Sandy, With the spontaneity and your lack of intimidation, you said, Lanee, let's start a podcast together. Let's cohost together. Let's work together. All I had to do was say yes. You didn't go to a staffing agency and try to find you know? So you're not you just said, I'm going to ask The person who's right here in front of me and who I know, and we just do it.

Sandy Kovach [00:14:31]:

Well, I wouldn't ask just anybody to be on the podcast. I mean, obviously, there were certain things about you that I knew we would be a good team in a podcast. But I did just ask you. Yeah. I I didn't, like, Research how to ask Lanee to okay. Between 12:30 and 1, when she's having coffee, I'm gonna ask for.

Lanée Blaise [00:14:50]:

Yeah. And make up this big elaborate or overthink it. You just went for it. I said yes. I just went for it, and it became something beautiful. And sometimes There is a natural inclination. I do have a natural I love to talk. And so even though I wasn't Familiar with hosting a podcast, there was something that spoke to my heart about it.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:13]:

Mhmm.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:14]:

And In those cases, I do love the idea of going ahead and riding that wave and trying it out.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:22]:

So, like, when your husband asked you to marry him, all these things were suggested to you by others. You still said yes.

Lanée Blaise [00:15:29]:

Right. Have you

Sandy Kovach [00:15:30]:

had a time in your life where you've made a big suggestion to somebody to do something that you feel like is spontaneous?

Lanée Blaise [00:15:36]:

Maybe that's the purpose of this Podcast 2, everybody has a different challenge for themselves. I would like to maybe take that on as a challenge for myself because I feel like All of my big, good, beautiful things, which is still a blessing, but have been asked by others. My brain sometimes does not think outside the box enough To think it up myself, it usually is from someone else asking.

Sandy Kovach [00:15:58]:

You don't have a problem going along with it if you feel like it might be a good thing, which there would be some people who would probably have said no to the husband or, you know, very many things. Just No. It doesn't really fit in with my life plan. Yeah. That doesn't really fit in. It's not perfect. We need to do a little more research on this.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:16]:

So the whole purpose of these types of talks Are to help people look into their own lives and see where they might need some adjustments. Because If you're listening to this Sandy you're thinking about someone who has recently asked you something and you really Find yourself either because of intimidation aspects or because of overanalyzing or dragging your feet. Maybe you're the type of person who needs to listen to this and take it as a let's give it a try. Let's try it. Let's stop dragging the feet. And I know that there may be others in the audience who are saying, I need to slow down in certain things of life. I need to stop saying yes to everything. Mhmm.

Lanée Blaise [00:16:58]:

And that's their story. And because we're all so different, we try to bring these things to light so that you can kind of make these adjustments and make your life happier, better, more fulfilled, more open, and we kinda get to know our characters. Sometimes we kinda know ourselves, but unless we really dig in with Stronger questions and stronger challenges, we don't know our whole full potential.

Sandy Kovach [00:17:24]:

Sometimes we are afraid to take a step or afraid to take a suggestion or afraid to be proactive. Sometimes you literally just have an idea. Lanee, you said you have you've been okay with accepting things, but Have you ever come up with an idea and thought, you know what? I would be really good at that. Maybe I should try that and just said, nah.

Lanée Blaise [00:17:42]:

Unfortunately, so we're just being honest, that is maybe my story, and I like the idea of partnerships. Not that I can't stand on my own 2 feet, but I really love Sandy, you offered me another one Just a few weeks back, which is the very definition of spontaneity, you said, Lanee, what if we decided to sign up for some improvisational Classes, improv acting classes. I Sandy, sure. As long as we look it up that part, you'd have to plan your schedule, but look it up. He just showed up. Yeah.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:12]:

Said it was improv. Can't he just come?

Lanée Blaise [00:18:14]:

Just come and start getting up on stage? But I wanna do it, and I wanna do it with you. And I don't wanna go to 1 by myself. I would not feel comfortable doing that, but I wanna do it with you. I wanna sign up. You know, that whole class teaches you to be spontaneous. You gotta go up on stage. You gotta Have a scenario that comes at you from audience suggestions, and you've gotta roll with it. And that is what I want, and friendships and partnerships Sometimes are the way to go with that.

Sandy Kovach [00:18:42]:

And I agree. And if you are intimidated or not intimidated or just not comfortable, some people don't like to walk into new situations by themselves. There's nothing wrong with going with a friend or a sister or a colleague or whatever it is. So Let's not just say, hey. You gotta go out and do all these spontaneous things by yourself. Sometimes it just helps to have somebody there with you. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:19:04]:

The whole purpose of this was just to dive in and think about ourselves in new ways. And I just really think you can add a lot of Spice to your life. You can feel free, try new things, not to the point where you get yourself overwhelmed and not to the point where things are Unsafe or dangerous, but we want safe, happy, uplifting, eye opening experiences.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:30]:

Right.

Lanée Blaise [00:19:31]:

Sandy I think that this is the mode and the method to do it, embracing spontaneity. Some of the best things were created without being planned.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:43]:

Exactly.

Lanée Blaise [00:19:43]:

Some of the best people were created without being planned. There you

Sandy Kovach [00:19:46]:

go. I did not know when I was gonna get pregnant, by the way. So

Lanée Blaise [00:19:50]:

Oh, I planned it very specifically based on my husband's job and the time of year that would be best, and then I I know the exact day.

Sandy Kovach [00:19:58]:

Right. Okay. We can Yeah. We can all get the picture. Yeah.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:02]:

So it's just too but and

Sandy Kovach [00:20:03]:

there's nothing wrong with doing that, Lanee, especially for something is like having a child. There's nothing wrong with it.

Lanée Blaise [00:20:08]:

Or what about this, though? And I'm even gonna kind of spank my own hand for this. What about, though, Things like creating life and people, there are so many things we cannot control. We need to be mindful of the fact that Everything is not always gonna go our way and not always gonna go the way that we planned. And in my case, I guess, I was very blessed that it did happen where I did work out my husband's scheduling at work and all that stuff to have the kids at the certain time. But being spontaneous Can almost be a way of practicing, preparing oneself for the fact that sometimes life is gonna throw whatever at you.

Sandy Kovach [00:20:47]:

You get in the habit of dealing with things that just occur because that's the nature of life. No matter how meticulous and even The most meticulous planner, Lanee, you must feel the wrath of things coming at you. Right? I mean, Not rap. I guess it's the wrong word, or maybe it is for you. I don't know.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:07]:

It can feel that way sometimes. Right? And that's when maybe you need to slow down, center yourself, and say, okay. I'm not god. I'm not in charge of everything. You know, I try to control the things that I can control, and the other things, I'm gonna be a willing participant in life. It's almost like a I learned this back in English class. The willing suspension of disbelief. And this is what our teacher taught us.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:30]:

When you're reading a good book or when you're watching a good movie, sometimes you're gonna just have the willing suspension of disbelief or, in this case, the willing suspension of control. And you're just gonna ride it, and you're gonna enjoy it, and you're gonna see where these characters get taken and the ups and downs and the roller coasters, and you're gonna have fun with it.

Sandy Kovach [00:21:50]:

Because do we really think the Avengers could actually happen? Yes. Yes. Yes. Sandy, which was over there. Yes. Dude.

Lanée Blaise [00:21:56]:

Snap those fingers. Yes. But, no, in that case, you really have to go ahead. Don't put on your Analyzing hat because you're gonna get Yeah. Really frustrated.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:05]:

But I think we know how to do that in movies. But what you're saying is do it in life. Yes. You wanted to take away time?

Lanée Blaise [00:22:11]:

Yeah. I guess the only thing for us to remember after all of this, there is a time and a place, a special place in our hearts for spontaneity. Little kids have it. They just, like, get up. Let's do a play. Let's sing a song. Let's do a handstand, whatever. Extraordinary things can come from it.

Lanée Blaise [00:22:28]:

Growth and development can come from it. Just try to make a little room in your life for some fun, for some spontaneous things. Consider the challenges that we presented today Sandy imagine yourself savoring a little spice a little spontaneity.

Sandy Kovach [00:22:47]:

Thanks for listening. Now we'd like to hear from you. Got an idea for the show? Wanna share your story or just Say hello. Make sure you connect with us. You can do that at imagineyourselfpodcast.com, and we'll talk to you again next time when we have something new

Lanée Blaise [00:23:06]:

to imagine.

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